While standing with my wife in a social military setting the question is inevitably asked: “So how long have you served?” When my response is, “she has served since 2016,” with the emphasis on “she,” you can see the confusion on their face as they try to process what I have just stated.

It doesn’t help that I cut my own hair using the No. 2 attachment, generally keep my face clean shaven, and run marathons often enough that my 48-year-old body is still in decent shape. I look Army.

But I’m not the active duty spouse in our relationship, nor have I ever served in any branch of the armed services.

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